In the startup world, we have spent the last decades optimizing for IQ in hiring. Obsessed with metrics, we’ve built rigorous systems to measure what people know and how they think and process: coding tests, case studies, technical screens, and whiteboarding sessions. We’ve become experts at assessing the brain as a machine, but we’ve become dangerously mediocre at assessing the human.
The stakes have changed. AI has leveled the playing field for technical skills in a way we never expected. As hard skills become increasingly commoditized and automated, the "human proficiency" of your leadership team is an irreplaceable competitive advantage.
At GV, I spend my days supporting dozens of founders and executives across our network. The pattern I see is unmistakable: the leaders who build great companies aren't always the “smartest” in the room. They are the ones who understand people.
Defining the Edge: What EQ Actually Is
"Emotional Intelligence" is often mis-defined as being "nice," "soft," or even "agreeable." In a high-growth environment, those traits can actually be liabilities.
In reality, EQ is the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and influence emotions, both your own and those of the people around you. It is a technical skill in its own right, but for human systems, built on five core pillars:
Self-Awareness: Knowing your own values and limitations, and recognizing how you show up.
Audience-Awareness: remaining authentic, but tailoring your message and communication for the same outcome to differing audiences
Self-Regulation: Managing your response (and energy) under high pressure and with a variety of audiences.
Empathy: Understanding the emotional makeup of others and communicating with them based on their position.
Social Skills: Building rapport, influencing with and without authority
The myth that EQ means being agreeable is dangerous. Some of the highest-EQ leaders I know are the most direct and brutally honest. The difference is precision. A low-EQ leader is direct out of carelessness; a high-EQ leader is direct out of a desire to see the other person grow. They don’t make everyone happy; they make everyone heard.
The Self-Awareness Gap
The root of this edge is self-awareness. However, there is a staggering disconnect between our perceived ability and our actual performance. Dr. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist who has conducted large-scale scientific studies on the topic, found a sobering reality: while 95% of people believe they are self-aware, only 10% to 15% actually are.
Eurich’s research highlights that there is virtually no correlation between internal self-awareness (how well we know ourselves) and external self-awareness (how well we understand how others see us). The most dangerous person in any organization is the one who has mastered the former but has no clue about the latter.
That gap is where "leadership debt" accumulates. The most dangerous person in any organization isn't the loudest; it's the one who has no idea how they come across.
I've seen brilliant founders who couldn't understand why their teams were disengaged. Talented execs who couldn't figure out why their hires kept leaving. The common thread: zero insight into their own behaviour.
The Cost of Blind Spots
Talented people rarely fail because of what they can’t do. They fail because of what they can’t see. In high-growth environments, certain behaviors that get rewarded early: intensity, decisiveness, a "hero" mentality, can become catastrophic at scale.
Founders and executive leaders often operate in feedback vacuums. High performers get less honest feedback because people are afraid to give it. If you aren't having regular conversations with people who disagree with you, you are operating in a bubble.
The Challenge: Locate Your Blind Spot
Self-awareness isn't a destination; it's a journey. It involves practicing a growth mindset and continuing to invest in yourself through journaling, coaching, peer-to-peer feedback and 360 feedback. If you want to test your self awareness today, try this:
Ask the five people you work with most closely to describe your leadership style in three words. Then, write down the three words you think they would use. The distance between those two lists is your leadership tax. The leaders I most respect aren't the ones without blind spots, they're the ones who go looking for them.
The future of work is more human, not less.
